P265:[{"_17":405,"_288":248,"_185":186,"_187":652,"_189":653,"_214":786},[406,428,450,470,490,512,532,552,572,592,612,632],{"_299":25,"_300":139,"_301":34,"_302":407,"_303":56,"_304":25,"_305":87,"_306":96,"_307":25,"_308":34,"_309":408,"_310":25,"_311":312,"_86":87,"_88":25,"_313":314,"_315":25,"_316":34,"_317":94,"_91":409,"_102":410,"_105":25,"_319":25,"_320":25,"_321":96,"_126":322,"_323":106,"_324":25,"_325":411,"_327":25,"_128":129,"_328":329,"_330":56,"_331":34,"_332":412,"_333":34,"_334":335,"_336":34,"_337":25,"_338":25,"_339":413,"_341":34,"_342":343,"_344":25,"_345":346,"_347":81,"_348":349,"_350":99,"_351":25,"_352":414,"_353":25,"_354":355,"_356":25,"_357":56,"_358":25,"_359":415,"_361":34,"_362":416,"_363":417,"_364":418,"_366":99,"_367":25,"_368":34,"_369":370,"_371":34,"_132":25,"_372":56,"_373":25,"_140":419,"_380":425,"_382":117,"_383":96,"_43":25,"_384":56,"_385":25,"_386":25,"_387":87,"_51":426,"_389":34,"_183":427},29.99,996394,{"_93":94,"_95":96,"_97":25,"_98":99,"_100":25,"_101":96},"0x7c63b6944f3f2c9bba9702e2bef9522025c9a04f",{"_171":172,"_173":163,"_174":25},"Nunchucks! The Whole Shooting Match",26652,"$29.99 USD",[],"

She took a vow of silence.

The apocalypse did not.

Sister Mary Mercy fights with rosary nunchucks, unresolved trauma, and zero interest in divine nonsense. When assassin monks, weaponized megachurches, logic machines that delete miracles, angelic HR departments, alien planet auditors, Hollywood prophecy engines, and Hell’s efficiency consultants all decide humanity needs “fixing,” Mercy decides otherwise.

Because the problem with optimizing humanity is… humanity.

Across twelve explosive, irreverent novels, the Sisters of Perpetual Enforcement battle:

• Mind control disguised as kindness

• Science trying to debug faith

• Angels offering mandatory sainthood

• Aliens preparing Earth for recycling

• An Algorithm rewriting reality

• A cosmic ledger that wants to categorize every soul

The stakes escalate from Vatican shadow wars to full metaphysical collapse, with hymn duels, relic disasters, casserole warfare, celestial paperwork, and one goat who absolutely cannot be trusted with security credentials.

Fast, funny, action-packed, and surprisingly heartfelt, NUNCHUCKS! is a supernatural martial-arts comedy about chaos, choice, found family, and punching apocalypse in the face.

All twelve books. One complete saga.

Silence was the vow. Violence was optional.

Salvation is not.

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When Sister Mary Mercy and her squad receive a mysterious message inviting “her” to join a global spiritual movement, everyone assumes it’s Mercy.

It isn’t.

It’s Lily.

Before anyone can ask why, Lily is swept into HALO—an aggressively cheerful megachurch movement run by influencer-pastor Jasper Glow and an army of pastel-wielding teens with weaponized positivity. HALO doesn’t want Lily’s faith. They want her glow—and they’ll emotionally brand her to get it.

To save her, the Sisters of Perpetual Enforcement must navigate modern teenage spirituality: TikTok devotionals, glitter-based theology, ring-light drones, curated affirmations, and motivational threats. Unfortunately, none of them understand teenagers. Agnes tries to fight them. O’Malley tries to hack them. Mercy speaks through signs. Dismas cries dramatically.

Elyse contemplates homicide. The goat… escalates.

As Lily faces brainwashing disguised as kindness, the Sisters must dismantle HALO from the inside and remind her—and themselves—what real belonging looks like.

Because sometimes the holiest thing you can do… is tell a teenager “no.”

Nun, Interrupted is a bright, absurd, heartfelt story about identity, emotional manipulation, and the terrifying purity of youth group culture—proving that even the softest soul can light the way home.

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Two nuns. One vow. Zero patience for relic-based nonsense.

When sacred artifacts start vanishing, and all evidence points to Sister Mary Mercy, the Vatican dispatches an elite audit team with one mission: bring her in. But Mercy knows she’s innocent—and she knows who’s guilty.

A ghost from her past has returned.

The Cloaked Nun moves like Mercy, fights like Mercy, anticipates her every strike… and knows the truth about the vow that defines her. With her squad of chaotic misfits—Agnes, Lily, O’Malley, Dismas, and a goat with questionable credentials—Mercy pursues her mirror through Europe, only to uncover a secret buried deep beneath the Vatican.

Her identity was split years ago.

Her memory was tampered with.

And her other half, Mary Elyse, wants her back.

Meanwhile, Cardinal Octavian Basso prepares to activate the Super-Sacrament—a monstrous relic-fusion engine powered by stolen artifacts and the forced reunification of the two sisters. If he succeeds, doctrine itself will bend to his will.

To stop him, Mercy and Elyse must reclaim the Shroud of Unspoken Names, confront their fractured past, and choose not just who they were meant to be… but who they want to be now.

Hilarious, heartfelt, and packed with sacred shenanigans, Nun of Your Business is a story of identity, sisterhood, and the quiet power of choosing your own destiny—even when the Church tries to choose it for you.

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Rome has survived emperors, plagues, invasions, and tourists — but it has never survived this many ghosts at once.

When spectral legionnaires block traffic, plague doctors wander through metro stations, and a ghost orchestra kidnaps Lily for a spontaneous Baroque symphony, the Sisters of Perpetual Enforcement know something big is happening.

Something ancient.

Something scared.

As hauntings escalate into a full-city temporal meltdown, O’Malley—resident tech expert, chronic overthinker, and self-identified “least important member of the team”—is unexpectedly thrust into the center of the crisis.

Ghosts treat him as “solid.”

The Vatican blames him for everything.

And something beneath the city is whispering his name.

Deep under Rome lies the Echo Sovereign: a collective memory of forgotten souls, desperate not to be erased by history. When it rises, threatening to overwrite modern Rome with centuries of sorrow, only O’Malley can reach it—not with relics or vows, but by doing the one thing no one else ever tried.

He listens.

With Mercy’s vow stabilizing the dead, Agnes’s chair diplomacy, Elyse’s steel discipline, Lily’s compassion, Dismas’s panic-based sonar, Scraps’s chaotic heroics, and one extremely good ghost dog, the Sisters must soothe the Sovereign and restore peace.

Nun of The Above is a supernatural action-comedy full of heart, hauntings, and the power of being heard—proving that even in a city built on centuries, every soul deserves to matter.

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Peace is coming… and that’s the problem.

When polite-but-lethal Lutheran commandos begin infiltrating holy sites across Europe, Sister Mary Mercy is dragged back into action. Their goal? Assemble the Augsburg Helm—an ancient harmonic artifact capable of forcing the entire world into perfect, polite agreement.

Mercy and her misfit squad race through rave monasteries, Swedish flat-pack death traps, and a theological snowball war, all while battling impeccably synchronized Lutherans and their terrifying Choir of Perfect Balance.

Standing at the center is High Presbyter Ingrid Sternvoss: composed, brilliant, and dead-set on weaponizing tranquility.

At the Midnight Fjord Hymn Slam, Mercy faces Ingrid in an epic duel atop a cathedral-sized organ. Silence clashes with symmetry. Nunchucks clash with tuning forks. Free will clashes with enforced serenity.

To save humanity from a beautifully polite apocalypse, Mercy must destroy the Helm, break the rhythm, and remind the world why chaos—and choice—matter.

Action, absurdity, and divine silliness collide in Nun Too Holy, the second adventure in the Nunchucks! Universe.

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When kindness becomes a weapon, only one nun can stay silent long enough to fight back.

Sister Mary Mercy thought she’d seen everything—until she’s kidnapped by Methodists.

Not just any Methodists.

A full-blown, emotionally armed megachurch led by the dangerously gentle Reverend Charity Redeemer, whose mission is to “help the world open up”… whether the world wants to or not.

As the notorious Baker’s Dozen force Mercy into spiritual “processing,” Charity prepares her ultimate weapon: the Loaf of Revelation, a sermon-activated bread bomb that will detonate pure honesty across humanity.

While Mercy battles her own buried truth, her team infiltrates the MegaDome through weaponized parades, hug ambushes, and casserole-based psychological warfare. Their goal?

Save Mercy, stop the Unity Service, and avoid crying in front of strangers.

But Charity sees something in Mercy—something fragile, powerful, and painfully true.

And she won’t stop until Mercy speaks.

The world is one service away from a confession apocalypse.

Can Mercy break the Loaf… before the Loaf breaks her?

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Hollywood has faced scandals before — but never a nun-led exorcism of the film industry.

When movie star Aiden Hallow is accidentally declared the Antichrist, the Sisters of Perpetual Enforcement are whisked to Los Angeles, where narrative magic and studio marketing collide in catastrophically cinematic ways. With a prophecy rewriting itself in real time, the Algorithm eating the concept of “authenticity,” and Aiden’s shadow-self preparing for its dramatic debut, the Sisters must break into the Script Cathedral and dismantle a story that believes itself stronger than reality.

But saving Aiden means confronting the deadliest forces known to humanity: PR illusions, stunt demons, contract sorcery, and fragile actor ego.

To stop the world’s first franchise-controlled apocalypse, Mercy, Agnes, Lily, Elyse, O’Malley, Dismas, Scraps, and a ghost dog must rewrite fate itself — and keep Aiden from moving into the convent.

Equal parts absurd, heartfelt, action-packed, and spiritually unhinged, Nun But the Script is a divine satire of Hollywood, identity, and the stories that try to own us.

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The final battle isn’t Heaven vs. Hell — It’s humanity vs. paperwork.

When Lucifer appears in the convent at dawn, Sister Mary Mercy knows one thing: peace never lasts. Hell’s underworld has been overtaken by an unholy coup of redaction beasts, efficiency drones, and a bureaucrat so terrifying even demons file complaints about her.

Censurelle, the Arch-Deputy of Order, plans to turn Hell into a perfectly optimized machine… by deleting “inefficient” souls.

The Sisters descend into the chaos—Agnes suplexing HR managers, Lily healing overworked demons, Elyse slicing through redaction, O’Malley hacking metaphysical servers, Dismas becoming an accidental therapist, and Scraps being worshipped by mistake.

But at the heart of Hell lies the Ledger, a cosmic engine that can categorize all existence.

All except Mercy.

When the Ledger tries to define her, the system crashes—resetting Hell into its messy, imperfect, essential balance.

Now restored and reborn, Hell stands.

The Sisters return to Rome.

And Mercy finally rests.

A heartfelt, explosive, ridiculous, and deeply human finale, Nun, Done and Dusted brings the NUNCHUCK! saga to its triumphant close.

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The scientists are done with miracles. Time to fight science with… whatever this is.

Sister Mary Mercy has faced zealots, hymn-slingers, relic thieves, and emotionally weaponized Methodists—but nothing terrifies her squad quite like people who don’t believe any of this matters.

The Secular Rationalist Front has built the De-Sanctifier, a machine that erases supernatural phenomena with cold, clinical logic. Miracles fizzle. Blessings go flat. Relics lose their spark. And Mercy’s silent vow—source of her power—begins to fade.

Even worse: the SRF believes Mercy herself is a walking contradiction. A paradox. A glitch.

And glitches get debugged.

To stop the machine, Mercy must form the world’s least stable alliance: Buddhist assassin-monks, Lutheran hymn engineers, Methodist casserole tacticians, stubborn Catholics, and a goat with security clearance.

The final showdown unfolds inside the De-Sanctifier’s logic engine, where scientific certainty devours mystery. Mercy must make the impossible choice:

Accept erasure

or prove that faith—and chaos—have value even science can’t quantify.

Hilarious, heartfelt, and defiantly irrational, Nun Shall Pass launches Mercy into her most impossible mission yet: saving the irrational from becoming obsolete.

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The angels came to recruit her.

Agnes brought a chair.

When Heaven descends on Rome with glowing wings, legal forms, and an alarming enthusiasm for mortal recruitment, Sister Agnes Thorne becomes the center of a celestial tug-of-war. The Choir Militantis insists she’s the perfect candidate for ascension.

Agnes insists she would rather eat a live hymnbook.

As miracles malfunction and angelic bureaucracy spirals out of control, the Sisters of Perpetual Enforcement must navigate divine audits, onboarding attempts, emotional comfort clouds, and one increasingly frazzled Archangel who admits the truth:

Heaven is stuck.

Earth is messy.

And they need Agnes to break the stalemate.

But Agnes refuses perfection.

Refuses destiny.

Refuses Heaven’s job offer.

She chooses Earth. She chooses her sisters.

She chooses to stay human.

Now, with a cosmic tear opening in the sky, Heaven and Earth must sign a treaty—and hope Agnes’s “no” doesn’t echo across creation.

A holy absurdist adventure of friendship, faith, rebellion, and angelic HR chaos.

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When the town of Spirit Pines starts smiling a little too perfectly, Sister Mary Mercy can smell trouble—a problem, since the town wants her to be a more “pleasant” person.

A mysterious teen recruitment movement has swept the American Midwest, backed by shining megachurch energy, pastel drones, and spiritual synergy levels so aggressive they might violate international law. But beneath the surface lies something far worse: Elsewhere—a reality-warping force that steals stories, rewrites memories, and wants to turn humanity into tidy little narratives.

When Lily is nearly absorbed into the cult of good vibes, the Sisters of Perpetual Enforcement discover that Spirit Pines has been built on a single stolen life: Ellie Graceland, a girl whose memories were harvested to create a perfect template town. To save her—and everyone trapped inside—a vow-dampened Mercy must face weaponized positivity, emotionally hostile architecture, hologram youth pastors, brochure swarms, and Spirit Pines’ disturbingly flawless welcome team.

But as Elsewhere collapses, Mercy becomes the one thing the narrative can’t parse: a contradiction with free will, sharp edges, and a vow that refuses to be edited.

Armed with paradox, friendship, rage, and one very civic-minded goat, the Sisters will tear down the Template, rescue Ellie from literal erasure, and prove that imperfect, messy humanity is worth fighting for—even if it means punching a megachurch so hard it becomes a crater.

In a story warped by the void, the only thing that makes sense…

is a nun who won’t.

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When actual aliens arrive, they’re not impressed… and they’re ready to recycle Earth.

The Arixellian Clarification Bureau has one job:

audit planets, measure intelligence, and discontinue the ones that fail.

And after a first glance at humanity, they’ve already started the countdown.

Now Sister Mary Mercy and her catastrophically lovable squad must survive the galaxy’s most stressful evaluation:

The Planetary Sentience Verification.

Unfortunately, their best (read: only) hope is Brother O’Malley—a man who panics so hard he breaks the translator device and gets appointed Earth’s ambassador by mistake.

As the Sisters wreak cosmic havoc aboard a perfectly symmetrical alien ship,

Scraps gains accidental self-awareness, Echo becomes Security Captain, Agnes suplexes a civil servant, and the goat eats the Planetary Discontinuation instructions.

O’Malley must convince the universe’s most literal beings that intelligence isn’t efficiency—it’s connection, chaos, love, and the courage to choose meaning in the mess.

If he fails, Earth gets recycled.

If he succeeds, the aliens will rewrite their definition of sentience forever.

But something even older is listening… and watching.

NUN BELIEVABLE is a cosmic, heartfelt, martial-arts theological farce—first contact by way of Naked Gun, with the fate of humanity in the trembling hands of its most anxious monk.

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